Margie Ruth ToddCantrell
Born: April 3, 1932 Pawnee, Oklahoma
Died: August 21, 2025 in Fort Worth, Texas
She was born in a farm house five or six miles north of Pawnee, Oklahoma while the Great Depression was devastating the entire nation and the Dust Bowl was blowing away north west Oklahoma. While Pawnee was nestled in the hills and greenery of north east Oklahoma, times were hard. But she didn’t carry this as a scar or a badge of honor. It just was.
She grew up as a normal farm girl in those times. She tended the turkeys, worked the garden, and milked cows. In her early years, she rode a horse with her brother to a one room school house. Later she attended the public school in Pawnee, where is promoted from seventh grade directly to ninth, skipping the eighth grade because of her good work. This skipping a grade caused some problems being accepted by her new classmates. But again, no scars, no badge of honor. It just was.
After high school, she worked her way through two years of college at Oklahoma A&M (now called Oklahoma State University), earning an Associates Degree. While there, she chose a cute kid out of the post office and married him. I would later call this man Dad.
This farm girl, Associates Degree and husband in hand, began her married life in Las Cruces, New Mexico. Over the next decades, she lived in New Jersey, Oklahoma City, Washington DC, Kansas City, Wichita, El Paso, and finally Fort Worth. She was there when her father died. She was laying next to her mother when she died. And she was holding her husband’s hand when she released him from this Earth.
Through decades of juggling a family-centered farm upbringing with a Washington elite environment, she did so with grace and a deep character that many could feel, but few could truly appreciate. For she accomplished this juggling with no scars and held forth no public badge of honor.
Let me walk you through a high-level sketch of the life of Margie Ruth Todd Cantrell — my Mom.
Genealogy
Margie Ruth Todd was born on April 3, 1932 at at 1:45 in the morning. Family lore says she was born at in her Grandmother’s house, but her birth certificate says she was born in the Pawnee Hospital in Pawnee, OK. Her parents were Richard Aaron Todd and Jessie Mildred Whitlow Todd.
Richard Aaron Todd was born on August 26, 1911, in Norman, OK (just outside of Oklahoma City), to Samuel Aaron Todd and Hettie Ellen Richardson Todd. Very early in his life, he and his family moved to the area north and northwest of Pawnee to be close to his Mother’s family. They moved multiple times in those early days. His parents divorced in 1915. He was living with his parents in Pawnee in 1920. He married Jessie Mildred Whitlow in 1929 and they lived in an apartment in Pawnee in 1930. He was a farmer during this time. He lived in Sapulpa in 1935 and back in Pawnee in 1940, where he farmed until his last days, dying on August 29, 1996 in a hospital in Stillwater OK. Along with farming and ranching, he worked in the oil fields and was very well thought of by all.
Jessie Mildred Whitlow Todd, who always went by Mildred, was born December 1, 1910, in Reeds, Missouri, a small farming community east of Joplin. Her parents were Robert Burns Whitlow and Edna Mae Harrison Whitlow. She lived in Pawnee, Oklahoma in 1920. She was pulled out of high school as a sophomore in order to get a job and help support the family. During her life, she worked for Southwestern Bell as an operator and later in the office of Dr. Arthur; both in Pawnee. She was quiet in public but loved when her family visited their farmhouse north of Pawnee, which they did often. She would see them drive up and slap more hamburgers on the stove without a word.
Early Life
1930s
As noted into the introduction of this page, Mom was raised a farm girl during the worst financial crisis our country has yet seen. They moved from house to house, finally settling on 43 acres off of Rural Route 6, 6 miles north of Pawnee. Grandpa later purchased 160 acres grazing land a mile or so north of their house.
From Mom: Grandma Todd worked at the phone company office in Pawnee, then for a doctor, and then at the drug store. While at the drug store, a man asked Grandma for some ‘shields.’ Grandma didn’t know what that was, so she asked the manager. Turns out ‘shields’ were condoms.
From Mom: They would order baby chickens when they needed to and kept them in the house. The little chicks would run all around the house.
From Mom: When Mom was young, the only time she had rice was for breakfast with sugar and cream. It was a transition when Dad wanted it at supper in place of potatoes.
1940s
Mom was the first born of her family. She was blessed with a brother in 1933, so she didn’t have to wait long. Elton Ray, or ‘Bud’ as he was called, and Mom were always very close.
Mom was very pretty from the very beginning. In High School, after the school had her skip the eighth grade because of how smart she was, she was voted ‘Cutest Girl’ in her senior class. She also participated in Y-Teen, Glee Club, Pep Club, and Y-Teen.
From Mom: Dickey used to tease Uncle Bud, and Uncle Bud would chase him, and Mom would chase Uncle Bud. Dicky would hide under the smoke house and Uncle Bud couldn’t find him. Most of this was while Grandma and Grandpa had gone to town. One time Uncle Bud was chasing Dicky, and Mom was chasing Uncle Bud with a hatchet. Uncle Bud ran over to the neighbors (the Bruns).
From Mom:I asked her about the old shed out past the LP tank. She didn’t know what that was but it might have been there when they bought the place. They did have pigs at one time.
From Mom: During grade school, in the country, they had one teacher for all grades. Grandma T thought the teacher was a communist. Mom and Uncle Bud road a horse to school. When she was in 7th grade, a Junior winked at her. During high school, she studied late at night. Grandma T was on the school board one year.
From Mom: They used to have a coal stove for heat and a wood stove to cook/bake on. She shared one bedroom with her two younger brothers. She had a small bed and her brothers shared a double bed. They were very afraid she would see them changing clothes. She never ever saw them in their underwear.
From Mom: She skipped the 8th grade (due to her scholastic skills, jac). Her freshman year was not great, but her sophomore year was much better. People started to like her then.
From Mom: They did not have indoor plumbing until she went to college. Before that, to take a bath, she would bring the tub into their bedroom, heat water, and take a bath. She thinks someone else dumped the water because it was so heavy. One time, a tornado was coming and they hollered, “Everyone to the cellar!” She didn’t go because she was taking a bath.
From Mom: When Mom was around 8 [1940], Uncle Bud was chasing her — he could never catch her. She ran into the turkey shed and cut her knee open on the corrugated tin. She went to the hospital. It left a big scar. In 1949, she and her friend Joyce decided to get their tonsils taken out. Grandma and Grandpa T didn’t understand why she wanted them out. She told them she always had a sore throat. She and Joyce were going to share a hospital room. At the last minute, Joyce backed out. Mom went ahead with it. They used ether to knock her out.
1950s
The 1950s was a decade a big changes for Mom. She graduated from Pawnee High School. She then enrolled in Oklahoma A&M. College was very unusual for farm girls in the 1950s, but Mom was determined. She worked in the Dean’s office during the school year and the various jobs in Pawnee during the summer.
In Stillwater, she me a cute boy in the college Post Office and chose him to be her companion for the rest of her life. That was James R Cantrell, my Dad. They were married in 1953 after Dad graduated with a Bachelor’s Degree and Mom with an Associates Degree.
Please see the ‘Tribute to Dad’ on this website for details on Mom and Dad’s travels. In summary, they lived in Las Cruces, NM, where they added their first born son, me. Then to Ponca City and ended the 1950s in Oklahoma City, where they added my sister, Patricia Gayle.
During the ’50’s, Mom transitioned from a farm girl, into a college coed, then a wife, then a mother. She transitioned from the local of Pawnee to traveling from New Mexico to New Jersey and back to the big city in Oklahoma City. She did all this with a grace and external comfort that spread calmness throughout.
From Mom: She lived with Great Grandma & Great Grandpa Fent in town (Pawnee), when she was 18. She had a job (bookkeeper at the Pawnee Dairy) in town. Grandma & Grandpa T didn’t want to drive her to and from work each day. Mom paid Great Grandma Fent like $5 a week for room and board. Mom had $70 saved when she married Dad. Great Grandpa Fent always said a blessing before they ate. One night Great Grandma Fent didn’t want to pray — she said “It’s only chili!”
From Mom: Grandpa T did not want people at Mom and Dad’s wedding — even her grandparents. Only the wedding party was there. Grandpa T did not pay for the wedding, but he did buy a tailored suit for himself and went to another town and bought Grandma a really pretty dress. Mom bought her own wedding dress at Penney’s for $10. Dad wore a wool suit. Wedding was May 31 in Pawnee and it was hot!
From Mom: Mom said I was born early. I wasn’t due until November 18 and was born on November 12. The doctor told Mom not to gain over 12 pounds while pregnant with me.
From Mom: Mom said she had trouble conceiving Tricia. She thinks it was because my birth had hurt so much. The doctor gave her two tranquilizers and that worked. Dad had a vasectomy soon after she was born. Mom did not know that her second child was a daughter until the next morning. The hospital had given her something to knock her out. During her labor, she told Grandma not to let Dad in, because he caused this! Grandma told her not to scream, just bear down.
1960s
While the 1950s were the ‘transition’ years, the 1960s were the ‘disruption’ years. In 1965hey moved from the comfort of Oklahoma City to the suburbs of Washington DC; from a starter home in a quiet neighborhood to an apartment complex; from the midWest to the East Coast; from 2 hours from ‘home’ to a drive halfway across the country. Dad worked shift work, so most of the child rearing fell to Mom. Then they moved to Wichita, Kansas. At least she was back in the MidWest, must close to ‘home.’
The decade ending up with children growing, life stabilizing, and the world feeling good.
From Mom: Mom talked about Grandpa Cantrell, Dad’s dad. After the Grandma & Grandpa C’s divorce, Grandpa C continued to struggle with alcohol. He would go into rehab, but Ethyl would pull him out. Ethyl was Grandpa C’s second wife.
From Mom: Mom said that Uncle Bob once told her that they needed to keep on eye on Kelly (my cousin) and me. We were probably junior high age. He didn’t want to find Kelly and me in a closet. Mom replied, “Thank you so much Bob. Jimmie would never think of that, so I will keep an eye on them so Kelly doesn’t lead him astray.” He was speechless.
1970s
And off we went. The 70’s opened up with our family transferring to El Paso, TX. From the Mid-West to the … well, desert I guess. What a change Mom had to handle. With her kids growing up, she started taking some college classes. In 1973, off the family goes to live back up in the Washington DC area — family except for the son, (me), who stayed in El Paso.
By some accounts, this was the hardest move on Mom. Back far away from ‘home.’ Lost her son. Her daughter was in high school, so learning her independence. And Dad was gone most of the time with work.
1977 saw them transferred back to Kansas City and life returned to ‘normal.’ Back in the Mid-West. Back much closer to home. Back to Dad being home much more. Mom thrived here, playing bridge and doing the books for a small company. And they became empty nesters, as my sister went off to college in Texas and I got married.
1980s
The 80’s saw a more traditional family arc for Mom. She was rewarded with her first grandchild in ’81. My sister got married in ’82. Dad retired from he Secret Service in ’83. Mom tried crafts and painting, continued playing bridge; a skill she excelled at performing. More grandchildren were added. Family holidays were at her house. Life was good.
1990s
The smoothness of the 80’s was interrupted by the chaos of the 90’s. Dad retired for good in ’92 which began the normal transition of a man around the house ALL the time! Her son, me, went through a divorce in ’94.
Mom’s parents’ health declined in the era, with her father dying in 1996. Grandpa’s death caused a deep seated need in Mom to move back to Oklahoma to take care of her mother. Dad reluctantly agreed. So, they moved to Stillwater, which was perfect for Mom, being so close to her Mom and her two brothers.
Grandma died in 1999 while Mom was lying next to her. That was a perfect physical representation of their relationship.
From Mom: Cigarettes killed both Grandma and Grandpa, but they loved smoking. Mom smoked maybe 12 cigarettes her whole life.
2000s
The 2000s were the calm decade for Mom. While she had lost both of her parents in 1990s, she was living in northeast Oklahoma, her ‘home’ area of the world. She lived in a beautiful house, played bridge constantly, and seemed to just enjoy life.
Her oldest brother, Elton Ray, died in 2006, which was hard for her to deal with.
2010s
This decade could be considered the most ‘transitional’ in a life that was full of ‘transitional’ events.
It was in 2010 that Mom and Dad decided they needed to live closer to their daughter, Patricia. So they moved to a three tier facility in Fort Worth, into a nice two-bedroom attached condo. Mom quickly found a bridge group and she started making new friends.
Dad started having small stokes which affected his mental capabilities. Mom’s legs and back were continual sources of pain. Activities became harder and harder.
And yet, to no one’s surprise that knew her, Mom’s spirit never dimmed. Her eyes twinkled and her smile always lit up the room. She laughed at herself as much as laughing and anything else. And she was a constant support to Dad and her entire family, always reminding all of us how special we were.
2020s
In December of 2020, my Father died. He held on until Mom said “Jim, it’s okay. You can go.” And moments later, he passed away. If you wondered about their relationship, that event told it all.
The next five years were a jumble for Mom. She had to give up her two bedroom condo for an apartment in the same facility so they could keep a closer eye on her health and make going to the dining room easier
One of the hardest events for her was giving up her car. Her reflexes had deteriorated so much, giving it up was the right call, but that loss of independence, while mitigated by the supreme support of her daughter and family, still hung with her until the end.
Mom’s body finally started breaking down. She had several bad episodes requiring stays in the hospital and rehabilitation afterwards. After the last episode, she had to move to the assisted living portion of her facility.
It was on August 21, 2025, that Mom passed away in her sleep. Right before her passing, she thanked the attendant there for helping her with her blanket and smiled at her. Minutes later, she was gone.
In looking over the above chronology of my Mother’s life, I see a repeated storyline of how she handled so many difficult transitions with such grace and strength. And that was very true. She shielded my sister and I from the whirlwinds of each new environment, and never took any credit for all the wonderful things she did, and she endured.
More importantly, at least to me, she taught the meaning of family and always gave me unconditional support. Her curiosity about why people did what they did, and her insight into answers to those questions were extraordinary.
Her lessons were mainly is just watching how she lived her live. And no stronger lesson to she teach than how to handle changes, especially in her later years.
Thank you Mom. I carry you and your lessons tightly with me.